EXTRICATE SWAG

The Way I Groom

Axe Messy Look Paste

Sounds terrible, but this stuff is awesome. Comes in a ridiculous looking tub. The color of the paste is pretty strange. But man, does this stuff make your hair look great. Pretty string hold combined with a relatively matte finish. Smells decent too. Make sure your hair is bone dry and make sure to rub that gunk in your hands for at least 30 full seconds before applying in your hair. Then again, maybe you like having blue streaks of randomness in your hair. It’s relatively cheap and the tub lasts for a while. Just think of it as a budget-friendly version of fancy shmancy grooming clay.

Neutrogena Invigorating Face Wash

Ever since Macy’s stopped carrying my fancy ass Biolage facial cleanser, I’ve been searching far and wide for something similar and budget friendly. I found this Neutrogena Invigorating Facial Cleanser and I shit you not, I instantly bought four more bottles after washing my face once. It foams up well, has this great minty, tingling sensation, and leaves my face feeling pretty great. Smells pretty good, too. At half the price of my old cleanser, I’m sold.

Old Spice Pure Sport Deodorant

Old faithful. I’ve been using it for years. It’s cheap, simple, and smells great. Why don’t you use anti-perspirant you ask? Because I don’t enjoy ruining my white V-necks with odor stains. Plus, I always feel like putting on anti-perspirant makes me sweat everywhere else even more.

Gatsby Hair Wax

This right here is some Asian boy business. All the gravity defying hairstyle craziness that epitomizes Asian pop culture is a direct result of Gatsby hair wax. This stuff is dangerous if you use it improperly. You will look like a dumbass. However, if you can control yourself and learn how to apply it the right way, it’s actually pretty useful. Again, bone dry hair and rub that candy apple gunk in between your hands for thirty seconds before applying sparingly.

Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream

Seriously guys, moisturize. It helps in more ways than you know. Basic, cheap moisturizer that works. No need to get super exotic with crazy infusions and wrinkle formulas until your mother starts calling you out on gray hair and crows feet.

Everyday Swag

Contrary to what you see on tumblr, normal guys can’t afford to drop a couple grand on an outfit without blinking an eye. We don’t hang out with Kanye at Pitti. Hell, most of us don’t even know what capsule is or that it was recently held in New York. What normal guys do is build a wardrobe slowly by buying pieces of clothing like a collector buys art. Buy quality, not quantity. Purchase pieces that add to the totality of a collection as opposed to buying pieces on a whim. Look for clothes that will stand out in your wardrobe instead of blending into the background. Stop buying stupid shit that’s obviously a fad. Collect and protect timeless classics. That being said, avoid paying full retail at all costs. I’m going to try to show you examples where I found true value in my wardrobe. I’m definitely not steezing out the ass, but I do well enough.

Dockers and Lands End Canvas. That is all.

Cheap, Decent Looking Clothes and Shoes

Urban Outfitters has a sale going on and after scrolling through 30 something pages of items on my iPhone (12 items a page), I have to say that both the selection and the price points are pretty decent. Get over there and check it out.

Some ground rules:
No 511’s. No skinny ass jeans. One item over $60 (shoes or jacket preferably). Fuck the accessories unless you absolutely need a watch. No FUCKING murses.

Shit to do for Valentines Day

Fuck dinner. Get dessert only. Buy a bottle of some decent bubbly and keep it in the fridge for when you get back home.

OH HEY SOPA/PIPA

 

Beware Internet, just because SOPA is dead doesn’t mean you should stop watching the news and staying informed. If you’re not constantly vigilant, censorship and big brother will be all over you like Coach Hines on Bobby Lee.

Edit:

This load of bullshit just came out in support of SOPA. Desperation at its peak. Let’s play on people’s isolationist and xenophobic tendencies to try to rally support. GTFO.